Getting to know your Jaffa
by codename.penguin
Summary: I always enjoyed the 'teaching the alien about earth and viceversa' moments. Plus Teal'c is just awesome
1. The secrets a banana could tell part1

I am in the middle of a Stargate Sg-1 marathon. I always enjoyed the 'teaching the alien about earth and viceversa' moments. Plus Teal'c is just awesome.

This chapter is set after Teal'c decides to join the Tauri and return to earth.

**Chapter one- The secrets a banana could tell (part one)**

"Try the potatoes, they are pretty good," Captain Carter supplied with a slight smile on her face.

The middle aged marine smiled absentmindedly back and took a heaping of the suggested food item.

Stargate command was still in the process of being staffed and the mess could be full or empty at irregular moments during the day. At the moment there was only a scattering of men and women in the dining hall as the Captain frowned faintly at the marine who once again hesitated this time over the fruit selection.

'It's not for me,' he replied seeing the look on her face, 'I am trying to give the prisoner some variation from what he had last night.'

Teal'c.

The marine tensed visibly at the full blown scowl on the beautiful woman's face. The Captain raised her hand in apology.

'He saved my life,' she muttered quietly, 'how is he doing?'

The marine glanced around to see if they were alone.

"With respect ma'am….' His voice trailed away as he observed the sad look in her eyes and he knew he couldn't finish the brush off he was going to give. The man sighed as he grabbed a banana and placed it on the tray.

"He is very quiet, meditates a lot…likes our food,' he added in a horrified voice. From the corner of his eye he saw the quick smile on the captain's face, which he was hoping to get. She went back to task of selecting her own food.

He didn't mention the way the prisoner didn't sleep, kept his back to the wall and always stood to the far side of the room whenever anyone entered the room. The, what was he was called again? …Jaffa. The Jaffa was a soldier and a well trained one at that. The officer wouldn't be letting his guard down around Teal'c anytime in the near future.

He opened his mouth and but then snapped it close just as quickly. It really wasn't his place to say anything.

'Spit it out,' she requested, prodding him with a friendly elbow to keep him moving down the buffet table.

"Ma'am, with respect…' he began hesitantly. He didn't flinch as her intense blue eyes bore into him, 'I have been a prison guard for a very long time. It's best not to get too attached to him. We don't know what the higher-ups are going to final decide.'

He could feel her seething next to him as he quietly took his tray and walked away, 'I'm sorry, Captain.'

For a long moment, the young woman stood in the empty line staring sightlessly at the grey wall opposite.

'I'm sorry too,' she whispered.

"Here we go Teal'c," the marine said with a flourish as he placed the tray down on the table. The prisoner bowed slightly his face smooth and impassive, betraying nothing of his thoughts.

"This here is a banana. It's from the hot regions of my planet. You peel it like so, and you eat the part inside."

The man placed the peeled fruit on the plate and looked at the Jaffa standing in the corner, 'It's very good. I love them. As soon as you are done, you will be returned to quarters. Milly is giving your room a quick polish, so it will be all spick and span.'

Teal'c's back straightened slightly at this bit of news.

'Don't worry, she won't touch the candles this time.'

The man waved goodbye and knocked on the door to indicate that he was ready to leave. The marine shook his head when he noticed who was on the other side.

'Captain,' he acknowledged, 'finished your dinner already?'

The woman grimaced, 'lost my appetite.'

The two turned to observe the prisoner through the window, eating his food with happy abandon.

'Whoa, you weren't kidding…he really likes our food,' she remarked in some awe as Teal'c demolished the tray.

The alien took a few tentative bites of the banana and suddenly stuffed it in his mouth as if the fruit would run away if not consumed immediately.

'Look I know what you are going to say but …' she started angrily but she lost steam as she observed the compassionate look being shot her way, 'He gave up everything to help us. That has to count for something!'

The prison guard took a seat at his desk just outside the door of the room.

'We've never meet an alien before,' he replied cautiously not wanting to distress her even more. 'Its hard to know what is the right thing to do. I don't envy anyone who is making this decision.'

In the back of his mind he wondered if he shouldn't call her CO to take charge of this situation. His hand crept towards the base phone as she turned around to look at the Jaffa inside. Teal'c was already on the last bowl of food.

'Airman, let me in,' she commanded the young officer who was standing guard. The young man glanced at his superior who shrugged in response. The captain out ranked both of them.

The woman unapologetically snagged an extra banana from off the marine's desk before walking inside.

Captain Carter raised her hands in the universal gesture for surrender as Teal'c knocked over his chair in his haste to get to the corner.


	2. The secrets a banana could tell part2

**Chapter 2- The secrets a banana could tell (part two)**

'Hey...hey,' she said softly trying to calm him down. 'You remember me? My name is Sam.'

Teal'c eyed the door and then the observation window as if seeking a reason for her presence. He stood at ease, hands folded behind his back.

'Captain Samantha Carter, United States Airforce' he said firmly and clearly, showing that he did remember her and her name. 'Do you have questions for me?'

The woman snagged a chair and sat down with a frown. 'Not really. I was just wondering if you were okay.'

Teal'c raised an eyebrow. The compassion and care being showed to him gave him hope, even though he was still a prisoner. The Jaffa approached the eating table and seated himself. The woman smiled at him as if she had received a great reward.

"I am…. ok-ay,' he replied haltingly his tongue faltering over the unfamiliar word he had learned from the Colonel earlier that day. The grey haired warrior was positively frustrated by the way Teal'c was being kept a prisoner. Could this woman be another potential ally or was this some form of trickery?'

His eyebrow crept upwards again as she giggled quietly.

She gestured at him with the fruit in her hand.

'I wouldn't repeat everything the Colonel says,' she warned him with a twinkle in her eye, 'It's best you clear any unfamiliar words or expressions with Doctor Jackson first.'

Teal'c eyed the banana in her hand angrily.

She had come to torture him.

He looked at her open, smiling face and it seemed impossible that such depravity could be in her soul. Looks could be deceiving it would seem. He made another mental note to his observations of the Tauri.

The Jaffa looked away but was betrayed when his stomach rumbled hungrily. It had been several days since he had eaten a proper meal. These bird sized portions being offered to him barely kept him upright.

'Wow…you still hungry?' she asked in surprise. She held out the banana to him in some concern.

'Are you okay?' she asked as he stared at the offering mistrustfully.

'Why are you here?' he snapped out, his hunger making him lose control briefly.

The blonde air force captain's shoulder drooped sadly at his unfriendly tone. She placed the fruit on the table in the space between them.

'Do you need anything?' she pressed on determinedly, 'Do you want something to read? Are you comfortable in your room? I can talk to General Hammond about allowing you to take a walk around base.'

'You will have to be escorted though', she warned him as his eyes searched her face.

She didn't look away as he continued to stare. His eyes dropped to the banana on the table. She poked it with a finger.

'Go on...don't be shy,' she encouraged him, 'I can get you a whole bunch.'

Teal'c snatched the fruit off the table with a speed that alarmed her. Fumbling slightly with the peel, he made quick work of it.

'It is in your power to provide more food?' he whispered quietly.

The captain smiled bemusedly, folding her arms across the table top to lean in closer.

'Why are you whispering?' she queried.

'What do you want in return for more food?' the alien volleyed back at her.

The woman's forehead crinkled as she tried to understand his question. Teal'c eyes washed over her. She was a tall woman but puny in strength…plus her beauty would be a disadvantage garnering her unwanted attention in a male dominated society such as this facility. She tried to hide it under baggy misshapen clothes but it would help if she kept her face covered too.

'Together with O'Neill, I can provide you with protection,' he said assuredly.

'Huh…I am okay,' she said in confusion. 'But I don't understand. I just saw you inhale a man sized meal. You can't possibly be hungry!'

She saw the muscle in Teal'c's jaw jump as he held his tongue, considering his response.

'I am not a man,' he confessed slowly.

Suddenly he saw a flicker of understanding dawn across her delicate features.

'Is this withholding of food not some form of torture?' he questioned unsurely at the look of horror being reflected in her face

'What the hell? NO!'…she denied vehemently, jumping to her feet. 'NO WAY!'

She looked at him with a wild expression in her eyes before she ran to the door hammering on it to be let out.

Teal'c closed his eyes and bowed his head miserably.

TBC

Anyone interested in more?


	3. The secrets a banana could tell part3

Thanks for all the suggestions and to all who put a story alert for further chapters.

**Chapter 3- The secrets a banana could tell part three**

O'Neill punched the correct floor button in the elevator tiredly. He was keeping an eye on the news as regards Teal'c but all the political machinations were making his head spin.

He was glad to take a break.

The war wearied Colonel stared unseeingly as the doors closed. He wondered what trouble his young female captain had gotten into, thinking back to the phone call that he had just received from one of the marines.

The Colonel already had to place himself infront of a few of the said marines who had let their appreciation for the Captain's …errr…attractiveness paralyze them in their tracks. He didn't have to say anything but the hard look on his face was enough for any spring chicken marine to understand. Put your eyes BACK into your head and walk away!

He snorted quietly to himself. He was such a hypocrite. He felt pretty much the same way but was better at hiding it. She was a very beautiful woman. Those blue eyes…..he gave himself a mental shake.

He would have to give Daniel a heads up. The two academics were together most of the time anyway, so it would be good if Daniel could spare one of HIS four eyes in looking out for the captain.

The elevator stopped with a melodic ding and opened slowly to allow new passengers to enter.

Speak of the devil.

'Hey I was just coming to see you guys,' O'Neill said cheerily, as he skillfully but covertly looked over the captain, checking for any signs of injuries. His gaze lingered on Carter's red rimmed eyes.

Daniel attempted to hand over one of the heavily loaded plates of food to the older man.

'Jack,' he yelped. 'We have a situation going on here…a misunderstanding really. Quite a fascinating dilemma if you think about it.'

The archeologist quailed at the look of scorn, Sam threw at him.

'Okay…well not really,' he muttered ashamedly.

'Sir...' Carter choked out. 'We have to get this food to Teal'c immediately.'

Teal'c? What the….?

If Teal'c had done something, hurt the captain in anyway, it would be an all out war just to keep the Jaffa alive and off a science table in area 51.

'Carter, what's going on?' the older man asked, tucking the half a turkey that Daniel had forced him to hold under his arm. He threw a glance at Jackson as he staggered slightly under the weight of the platter of cheese paste sandwiches he was carrying.

'Oh sir...' she wailed quietly, collapsing against his side for a brief second as she unconsciously sought comfort from her distressed thoughts. Without thinking, O'Neill, quickly held her up with his free hand, silently mouthing the words 'what's going on?' over the top of her head to Daniel.

Just then the doors opened unto the level they had converted to handle prisoners. Well just Teal'c really.

Carter grabbed the half a turkey and trotted forward. A young airman came forward to assist Dr. Jackson.

As soon as Daniel's hands were free the Colonel tugged him by the back of his jacket and whipped him around to face him. The younger man scowled as Jack began to wag a pointed finger in his face.

'If someone doesn't tell me what is going on RIGHT now,' the older man demanded in an increasingly loud voice of irritation and worry.

'Teal'c thinks we are torturing him," the archeologist summarized succinctly.

Jack's brain froze.

'What did you just say?' he asked the younger man incredulously.

Before he could reply O'Neill pushed him away and bounded towards Teal'c's room. Looking through the observation window, his eyes swept the cell looking for …well he wasn't sure what he was looking for.

Teal'c was seated at the table, fiercely clutching a large bunch of bananas against his chest while with his other hand he sampled the turkey parts that the young Captain was obligingly tearing off for him. The plate of sandwiches sat close to the Jaffa's elbow, patiently waiting their turn.

Daniel walked up from behind the older man, pushing his glasses up his nose as was his habit when he was nervous. He knew what he was about to say was going to make Jack furious.

'Apparently, Jaffa physiology is different from humans. They require a lot more food than we do and…,' he broke off as Jack groaned and kicked the wall.

The Colonel leaned his back against the wall and titled his head to watch the ceiling

'Carter came to get me…she could hardly speak,' Daniel added on quietly. 'She was really angry because it would appear that the guard never asked Teal'c if the food was alright and she is angry with Teal'c because he never said anything.'

Silence fell between the two men.

'She's never been a prisoner before,' O'Neill surmised closing his eyes.

Daniel looked on sadly at the other man, wondering what he was thinking. He slumped against the wall next to Jack offering his silent support.


	4. What time is it? part1

Most of these out takes will take place in season 1. This story arc is set after the events in Emancipation.

Chapter 4- What time is it? part one

'Danieljackson', the alien rumbled from the corridor.

The archeologist in question jumped on the stool that he was seated at. He snapped his head around to look at the Jaffa hovering at the door. For such a big guy, Teal'c could sure sneak up on people.

'May I enter?' the alien asked quietly, dark eyes sweeping the cluttered work bench that comprised seven eights of the furniture in the young man's office. The Jaffa was still very hesitant to be in the presence of his learned colleague. Dr. Jackson's willingness to at least be civil to him astounded and humbled him. If the situations were reversed, and it was the young archeologist who had stolen his wife, the warrior had serious doubts that he could conduct himself with such mercy and compassion.

Daniel removed his glasses to give them a much needed polish with the end of his shirt.

'T'eal'c!' he cried in exasperation. 'How many times do I have to tell you that you don't have to ask for permission?'

And as if to underline this point, Jack sauntered into the office without as much as a pause in his step. 'I'm starving. Let's go for cake.'

'O'Neill,' the Jaffa said in relief that more reinforcements had arrived. He temporarily put away the guilt he felt for his role in the loss of Jackson's wife. 'I believe there is a problem. Captain Carter is behaving in a most peculiar manner.'

The quest for cake was forgotten as the three of them stepped towards each other without even thinking.

'Peculiar as in geeky scientist peculiar?' Jack inquired, 'because to be honest only about five other people on THIS planet know what she is talking about half the time and I am not one of them.'

Daniel crossed his arms across his chest, 'this we know.'

The Colonel narrowed his eyes and shot the doctor an evil look, not sure if he had been insulted or not.

Their companion proceeded to give an account of his strange experience with the woman.

'It was then that she started arguing most loudly,' he concluded, 'and threw her writing materials in the rubbish container. She then ordered me to leave her presence.'

Teal'c proud shoulders slumped with this admission; his little Jaffa heart obviously crushed at Sam's uncharacteristic burst of temper.

Daniel and Jack exchanged looks. It took a lot to push Sam's buttons. Daniel waved his hands in an 'after you' gesture and the two men hurried after their colleague who was already half way down the corridor.

The alien was holding the elevator for the humans and they all clambered inside. However, they stood in silence as the elevator also contained half of SG-11 on their way to the infirmary.

Teal'c turned to face his teammates standing next to him, 'O'Neill, what does time of the month mean?'

Jack's mouth dropped open in horror as he stood frozen by the question.

'Oh HELL no!' he yelped, hitting the elevator button repeatedly, indicating that he wanted to go back down to the safety of the previous level.

Dr. Jackson rolled his eyes.

'Jack!' he scolded, batting the man's hands away from the control panel. 'A person would think that you were never married.'

Sg-11 snickered quietly as Daniel and Jack staggered around struggling in the elevator. The Jaffa widened his stance and folded his hands automatically behind his back, trying to make sense of this display. As much as he respected O'Neill, once he drew breath he would not allow Dr. Jackson to be injured by anyone. Teal'c quickly realized that the two men were not engaged in actual battle as the Colonel was quite capable of subduing the academic with just a twist of his wrist.

'If you LADIES would excuse us,' the leader of SG-11 smirked, 'this is our floor.'

As the two men exited with a burst of raucous laughter, Teal'c arched a delicate eyebrow.

'Hey wait for me!' Jack yelled at the backs of the airmen as he strained against Daniel's grip.

Teal'c settled the disagreement by quietly depressing the floor button. The male members of SG-1 resumed their journey to the science labs.


	5. What time is it? part2

**Chapter 5-** What time is it? part two

The elevator doors opened and one confused Jaffa disembarked. He was followed closely by an earnest blue eyed archaeologist. The Colonel lagged far behind.

'I see,' the warrior alien muttered into the hopeful face of his companion.

Daniel pressed his lips together as it was obvious that Teal'c didn't understand his explanation at all.

'Didn't you have any lady Jaffa friends back on Chulak?' the young man asked with a hint of a teasing smile.

It took all of his years of hard experience as First Prime not to let any emotion play across his features. He had more than a 'lady friend' on his home planet and he still had no idea how he could speak of it now. He had sworn to General Hammond that he had no personal ties left on the planet, nothing that would make him vulnerable as a member of SG-1. His heart was heavy with this deception and with worry for the family he had abandoned when he joined the Tauri.

'I know of no female Jaffa experiencing the symptoms you describe, Dr. Jackson' he replied.

Daniel jerked back wondering why Teal'c was so upset all of a sudden. He was trying to hide it, so the young man backed away from the topic, granting him some privacy. He would mention it to Jack a little later. Maybe Teal'c DID have a lady friend back on Chulak. Oh dear.

'Perhaps the symbiote we carry regulates these hormonal imbalances you speak of,' the Jaffa surmised, unaware that Daniel had come close to the truth.

Daniel nodded his head in agreement. That was most probable.

'What do you think Jack?' the archaeologist asked companionably turning to the other man on his left. It was rare that the Colonel would go so long without speaking.

The three of them walked slowly down the corridor, having not yet come up with a plan of action as regards Captain Carter.

'Carter doesn't have a symbiote,' the older man pointed out annoyingly.

'I know that,' Dr. Jackson volleyed back with some heat.

Jack raised a pointed index finger, 'Do NOT take that tone with me, young man. This is a bad idea and you know it. We should turn around now, while we still have the chance.'

Their little group stopped about 20 feet from the door of Carter's lab. They could see the light on so she was most likely still there.

Suddenly there was a sound of a mug shattering.

'DAMMIT!' the Captain roared at the top of her lungs.

Teal'c frowned heavily.

'She will be this way every month?' the Jaffa inquired quickly, his concerned eyes darting between his two colleagues. 'Is there no medical procedure to correct this?'

Jack snorted and muttered under his breath.

'NO, she is not going to be LIKE this every month!' Daniel answered the question but spoke the words in Jack's direction. 'These symptoms are usually brought on by stress like, like…'

'Like being captured and beaten by a crazed Mongolian warlord,' Jack supplied. There was a hint of color on the Colonel's face as he realized that Daniel had heard what he had whispered. He deserved the disapproving look on Jackson's face. His snide comment had been unworthy for a woman of Sam's caliber.

'Exactly!' Daniel retorted angrily, not feeling very forgiving as yet.

Teal'c opened his mouth to ask another question but stopped when the woman in question charged into the corridor.

'Whoa,' the colonel muttered and backed away at the crazed look on her face. He waved furtively at Teal'c, warning him to get clear of the danger zone. The Jaffa stared impassively at the leader of SG1.

'Hi Sam,' Daniel said bravely, 'You wanna go get something to eat. It's late. Why don't you stop working now? Your experiments will still be there in the morning.'

Carter's eyes narrowed into slits.

'What's that suppose to mean?' she demanded.

Daniel hugged himself as she glowered at him.

'My work is every bit as important as yours,' she snarled, walking one step closer to the doctor. 'Don't you think so? You don't do you! Well I will have you know that it was MY work that…'

'Attend Hut, Captain!' the Colonel barked out, interrupting her in mid-tirade.

The blonde haired scientist snapped to attention so fast it made Daniel blink.

Jack stepped forward and slowly looked her up and down. She stood rigidly at attention, her eyes fixed at some random spot on the wall while he conducted his "inspection".

'You will apologise to Dr. Jackson,' he commanded softly, 'and then you will confine yourself to quarters until I send for you.'

Daniel opened his mouth to protest but Teal'c shook his head slightly in warning.

'I'm sorry, Dr. Jackson,' his friend offered feelingly, her eyes filling with tears of emotional strain.

The Colonel winced as he heard the crack in her voice as she struggled not to cry. She was going to be so embarrassed when she calmed down and he was glad for her sake that the corridor was empty. He could see how pale she was, the pain from her menstrual cramps gave her face a pinched look. She should have been in bed with a large bottle of extra strength anything a long ago.

'Dismissed,' he added finally.

Teal'c quickly stepped out of the way as she fled down the corridor away from them.


	6. What time is it? part3

**Anote**: I just found this chapter when I was tidying my folders. Next time I am on a Stargate binge, I'll add more.

**Chapter 6** What time is it? part three

Daniel sighed quietly to himself as the elevator doors closed sealing him inside. No other sound could be heard as the lift hummed quietly, waiting for its occupant to make a floor selection.

Daniel sighed again.

'Where are you going?' he muttered under his breath even as he pressed the button that would take him to Sam's floor on the base.

He had been staring blankly at the walls of his lab not being able to concentrate on his work after the disturbing altercation with the Captain a few minutes ago. Restlessly he jumped up from his stool and shuffled to the elevator. He just wanted to be near her.

It wasn't late but the main corridor on the floor assigned to the women was empty.

Sam was a new friend but he never realized until now how much he depended on her, how much he depended on her company; how very much alone he was on the base.

Irritably he scratched the top of his head as he slowly turned down the aisle to Sam's room. Hopefully she would be asleep, free of pain and anxiety. He hoped she was. The memory of tears on her face made his stomach churn.

The archeologist halted in surprise for a moment before hurrying forward.

'Hey,' the young man said softly.

Teal'c bowed in return.

They had stood around stupidly after Jack had ordered Carter away. With compressed lips, Teal'c had favoured the two humans with a distinctly sour look before retreating to the elevator. Jack turned in the other direction. No one was in the mood for further conversation.

'Have you tried talking to her?' Daniel asked inclining his head to indicate the door of the Captain's room.

Teal'c stared at him for a moment, his irritation at their ineptitude still evident.

'I have not,' he replied in a dismissive voice.

They turned to stare at the closed door in silence.

Janet Frasier smiled behind her clipboard as she observed the two, wondering how long they had been standing there. Sam had just called down to her office and filled her in on what had happened, requesting a visit when she was free.

'Gentlemen,' she greeted them and they immediately shuffled out her way so that she could gain access to Sam's room.

The petite doctor liked SG1 immensely and she couldn't wait to get inside to tell Samantha about this show of atypical male concern crowding the corridor.

A little over half and hour later, the Captain had showered and was comfortably tucked into bed. Janet was glad she had come because by this time Sam could barely move to the small shower stall. She had gently scolded the other woman for not taking any medication and the blonde smiled back genially appreciating the friendly concern. The medic smiled as her 'patient' yawned and snuggled around the latest issue of Science magazine.

The doctor smiled again when she re-opened the door.

'Sam, you have guests,' she announced sweetly as she discreetly shifted out the room to make much needed room for the large bulk that comprised the men of SG-1.

Teal'c and Jack stood around uncomfortably in the small room as the door closed. Thankfully Daniel didn't feel the same as he confidently stepped forward and in a gentle motion he lifted the captain's covered feet to his lap inorder to make room for himself at the edge of the bed. They only had eyes for each other as she silently apologized again and he grinned happily in return.

The Colonel slid down the wall opposite and sat cross-legged on the floor.

This left Teal'c to sit gingerly on the one tiny chair occupying the room. It squeaked alarmingly increasing his discomfiture. He had never been in here before and his eyes swept around memorizing its features as his Jaffa training demanded. Her room was just like his except she had placed some pleasing stellar photography on the walls, and had a most unusually decorated cover on the bed. He liked the bright colours and reached out a cautious finger to poke one of the large printed ladybug shapes.

Her eyes brightened visibly when she turned to him. The alien was immensely delighted at this reaction.

In the corridor, the Colonel and danieljackson had quietly argued about who should present the Captain with the large slice of chocolate cake Jack had scrounged up from the cafeteria. Neither of them wanted to do it as the older man had cited regulations and the Doctor believed he was still in her bad graces. The Jaffa had grabbed the plate then and silenced the humans with a foul glance. Teal'c had decided that no one would enter the room unless they were invited there. There presence had not proven useful before.

'I love you Teal'c', she murmured fervently as she tucked into the dessert with gusto.

Surprised but pleased at this sudden change in behaviour, the Jaffa sat up proudly and smiled in smug superiority at his male colleagues.

The Colonel coughed to cover up his laugh at the look on Teal'c face.


End file.
